Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Shine Through

It seems like the exact moment my life went to shit; everyone else’s lives took a glorious turn for the best.

It was hard to hear all of the positive things going on in my friend’s lives like engagements, marriages, wonderful work progression, babies and buying houses. It was horrible, but I couldn’t feel happy for my friends. I felt left behind. In my soul I knew I was happy for them, I just couldn’t see past my shattered life to see the bliss that everyone else was feeling. All I could see in their success was my lack of success. It wasn’t pretty. How as a good friend, can I hear the best news ever from my friends & not feel happy for them? That’s ridiculous.

Not being able to feel joy for my best friends & family made me feel worse. It was like a horrible downward spiral.

Is this feeling of general distaste for everything ever going to pass? Can I fake it until I am truly happy for my friends? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Why can’t the real me shine through???

You know the old phrase: fake it until you make it. I did just that. I slipped up a few times too & my friends caught me & cradled me & told me it was going to be ok. One day it becomes ok & you do shine through.

You just get so engulfed in the flames of your past that your singed eyelashes can’t see through the smoke to the other side.

You shine through though, eventually. You shine though in the best way possible. In fact, you radiate.

No comments:

Post a Comment