Friday, April 29, 2011



Oh little apartment, all 625 sq ft of you, of thee I sing. A gold key opens your door & helped me turn my life around.

I came into you when my life was seemed to be in shambles. I didn’t know quite who I was anymore. I wasn’t sure of anything-but you were all I had.

I hadn’t ever been alone once in my life and I felt like something was missing. I found my little best friend from 2 grainy pictures online. We were both looking for someone to love & a fresh start. Ever since that day, I wake up every single morning to love.

A gift from an angel helped my life get on track. I don’t know how I would have managed those first few months with out it. Thank you.

I turned this place into my own. I had never been able to really create my own space before, where only what I liked mattered. I created my home.

I can’t say living along was always easy. There were a few times when I had to remind myself that I was the only one paying all of the bills. A few bad decisions were made. There were nights when I was scared, unsure, and couldn’t stop crying. But I had my little best friend and the most amazing support group ever which helped me forge ahead.

#15 became my cocoon. I first opened the door as one being, and I grew inside its walls & in a few days I am going to emerge from this place a totally different, radiant person.

I found my self. I found understanding. I found love. I found my way. I found peace. I found strength.

Thank you #15 for everything then, now & for the rest of my life.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Regrets Only

Everyone has those old friends, the ones who at one point in your life that were you life. The ones who bring you back to those fabulous moments in time that seemed to stand still in your mind. The ones who you haven’t seen or heard from in years & the same ones who you just received an invitation from in the mail.

At that very moment you get transported back to that moment in time when your friendships were all that mattered. At that very next moment, you realize you haven’t spoken to them in years.

Why were you getting an invitation? Shouldn’t you have at least gotten a phone call first? Hey, how are you? How have you been? Remember that one time, back in college where we had a blast?

Yet, I’ve received no call, only a quick note from your girlfriend requesting my address. Not even a high-how have you been. I mean I have known her for YEARS, we’ve gone out on double dates, we’ve been in separate, yet the same circles, but all I got was a “Hey, what’s your address”.

So the invitation came in the mail. I opened it on a short walk. By the time I made it back inside, my stomach was in knots.

Should I go? If I went who would be there?

I hate to admit I have a nemesis. A huge fat raging ugly bitch of a nemesis that I NEVER, EVER want to see again. This girl is a friend of the friends of the GF who wrote me the note asking for my address.

Now my head is swirling.

Would my Nemesis be invited?
What would I wear?
What if she wasn’t, but my nemesis’ best friend (who was friends with the GF) was there?
Would I be forced to talk about my life to some HUGE bitch or a friend of a bitch who is also a bitch?
What am I expected to spend?
Will my guy friend be there?
Who am I going to sit with?
How long do I have to be there?

After about 15 minutes of reeling & soul searching, I opted NOT to go. It’s too much hassle to go to a party where I didn’t even get a personal invite from an old friend.

Hint, if you want me to come to your party where I have to pick up a present, pick up the damn phone.