Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Cocoon

As soon as I became single, everyone wanted to know when I was going to start dating again. But the thing is, once I convinced myself I was single, I wasn’t sure who I was anymore and I wanted to take some time to get to know who I was now that I was just me. I feel like my past relationship deserved a mourning period.

Plus, I was too much of a wreck to date someone right away. I was too angry. I was too sad. I was too tired. It’s exhausting going through a break up.

Exhale. It gets easier.

You sleep more. You eat more. You get used to being you more. You break free. When you are in the depths of a breakup you put yourself into a cocoon. You are desperate to break free, but you have to wait, until you are ready to become the butterfly. Don’t force it. Don’t hurry it along. Just wait it out. The nightmares & the screaming & the sobbing stop. But it has to be YOU that let it stop. No one else can help you make it stop. No one else can help you speed up time. It just happens naturally.

I need time to heal people. I need time to mourn. Not mourn my ex, but mourn my old life. I’m not less than you for being single; I am MORE than you for trying to pick up my pieces. Back off, I’m in a cocoon here! One day soon, you will see the old me. The me with the sparkle in her eye, the me that laughs & sings & jumps around. She’s around here somewhere. I just need some time to find her again.

1 comment:

  1. You're doing great K! Trust - you are awesome :-) At least, I've always thought so!

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