Dodgeball

Dating online is like picking a team for dodge ball. You know you want to be picked by the captain of the good team, but how do you know if your team is going to meet your expectations. How does the team captain know if you or the girl next to you is going to be the better match? I just don’t know.

What website do you pick? Do you go with the one with the most commercials? I mean they all have a lot of commercials showing success rates. Am I really ready to be in my own lovers commercial? Look at me, I’ve been single for 15 minutes & we are engaged, bought a house & will have 2.5 kids in 3 years.

I don’t think I’m ready to pay for love. Can I afford it, YES I can. But I just want a taste of what is out there, not devour the whole thing. I don’t even know what to do yet. What are the rules of dating?

I sat down & thought to myself what I would want in that perfect someone.
I tried to go beyond tall, dark, handsome & hilarious. I used a writing guide as my guide into “putting what I wanted out there into the universe”.

Here’s my first draft. This is what I think is going to be good for me.

Someone who is:
Loyal + Strong willed-but not pushy + Loves to cook + Showers me with positive feedback + Has a great job + Loves my amazing family & my friends + Has their own amazing family & friends + Loves to laugh & joke around + is intelligent + enjoys the outdoors + is drug free + Totally blows my mind + is taller than 5”11 + Is the life of the party + Wonderful appreciation of music + Sings + Loves my dog + Can be deep when appropriate + Gives me the right amount of attention + Appreciates the little things + Has a 401k & health insurance + Witty + Charming + Hypnotic laugh + Likes hometown sports + Not a gamer + Gives & expects respect + loves to take mini vacations + Wants to settle down in the next few years + Wants a home & a family + Is adventurous + Great kisser + Personal style + Ok dancer + Loves to travel + Sweeps me off my feet + Amazing in bed + Peace maker + Hand holder + Good story teller + Makes good money + Wants a lake house + Is clean + Likes to read + Semi-religious + SOCIAL drinker + Likes to entertain friends + Enjoys a night out on the town or going to a sporting event + GETS ME.

Yeah, that’s a LOT to ask for, I know. But it doesn’t hurt to “put it out there” right?
Dodge ball anyone?