Monday, March 15, 2010

Back on the wagon

I think the hardest part about breaking up is moving on. Physically & mentally, and not just for you-for your friends & family too. Just when you stop having the nightmare for one restful night, someone from out of no where brings up your ex. Then there you are again, back on the wagon - feeling like a complete failure. Losing sleep because all you can think about is that person, & in my case think about how that person screwed you over.

I don't in any way want my ex back. But I can't seem to get over how I was screwed over. I have this never ending fantasy sequence where I am telling them off over & over in my head. Screaming out everything I wanted to say, adding in lies about how wonderful my life is now. Going off about what a real loser their new sig other is, and maybe that my exes teeth look really yellow-even if they don't.

Sure Your friends or family didn't mean to bring up your ex, but they had to. You know something looked, smelled, gestured, reminded them of that person! They have no idea how the thought of this person still haunts you. How when you go home at night all you can do to turn off your brain is sing the National Anthem & I'm a little tea pot over & over again. But they just have to know, because they broke up with this person too - this being especially true with your family & closest friends.

Have you talked to them? Did you hear about this one thing? O-M-G You have to see this hilarious picture of them with their new love!

Nope I haven't. Thanks for bringing it up now, because that's all I am going to think about for a week. Awesome! I didn't need sleep anyways. Everyone tells me how cute I am when I'm cranky!

Then you notice when you're the only single girl in town, that you get invited out to less. It's a couple's thing and well, you're just the sad girl with no date. Your phone rings less because everyone is so busy in love, or they are busy working on their time lines. Tick Tock!! Better hold on tight to your varying levels of happy & better hit that next milestone soon. We're not getting any younger...

I guess I used to be that busy too?

So you find new ways to use your time. New faces to visit & new adventures to go on. You try not to give yourself the time to sit at home, alone & be bitter. It's so much nicer to be happy.

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