Hi. So I am kind of frustrated right now. Soldier Boy (SB), as you know, has been kind of flaky lately. Last night I was bored out of my mind (because I’ve been watching TV for too many days straight) so I popped on the Internet.
Now I have looked SB up on face book a few times, we aren’t friends, but I have seen his profile picture change 3x since we’ve gone on our first date. The first one was him & some old dude at a conference (maybe it’s a celebrity…IDK). The second one was of him & his friend at the Lions game he went to the day after Halloween. Now it’s just this like full-length picture of him he took of himself in the mirror. Have I mentioned he is kind of vain? He kind of thinks he’s from the Jersey Shore… Ok… not why I am frustrated. For the record, mine has changed 4x since we started dating.
Here’s where I am thrown. I get a message from someone on the dating website & think, heck—I’m bored. So I look, some loser. Whatever. Then I look to see if I can tell when SB has been on last. HE WAS ON THAT DAY!!! So I go into panic mode & click on his profile. Shoot. Now he knows I was on his profile, because it shows you the last 3 people to look at your profile. So I start sweating and even change my user name. Slick right? No.
Today I check my email before work & he added me as a favorite on the website. I honestly don’t really even know what that means. But I do know that it means:
1. He’s on the website
2. He’s on it 2x in one day
3. He knows I looked at his profile
4. I am one of his favorites?
I texted him, randomly yesterday just to say hi. I also texted LD @ the same time. Wouldn’t you know I didn’t get a text back from EITHER GUY?
So I’m very in the WTF zone.
Showing posts with label soldier boy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soldier boy. Show all posts
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Being sick sucks.
I decided to take a break from both guys. Lunch date has been MIA for a few days & Soldier boy seems to be “busy with school”. It was getting to be too much. The spotty conversations, the missed calls, the long hours or nights even- between text messages. My life was revolving around constantly checking my cell phone for recognition. Once I realized that, I decided to take some me time. I had some super fun things coming up & I couldn’t wait to take charge of my own happiness again.
So I went to a football game with my friends & put my phone on silent & left it in the car. It was liberating to not have checked it 50X to see if anyone of the boys had tried to contact me.
When I got back to my car & my phone there were 2 missed alerts: one from each soldier boy & lunch date. I decided to not text them both back immediately & just enjoy my time with my friends.
By the time I got home, I was feeling ill. Maybe it was too much sun, maybe it was too much tailgating, and whatever it was it was horrible.
No amount of sleeping it off could help though, I had full fledged H1N1 & it SUCKED.
It’s really hard the first time you get sick & you live alone. No one is there to get you medicine, no one is there to make you soup or get you juice from the store, and no one is there to watch your dog. My mom told me to pack up & come home, but I couldn’t make the almost 2 hour drive. I was too sick. It was weird being cut off from society for so long. I couldn’t stop being freezing cold & then pouring sweat not to mention that I couldn’t stay awake for more than 3 hours at a time. I could barely take care of my dog. Being sick alone totally sucks.
Here is the boy breakdown while I was sick.
Sunday: No call/text from soldier boy.
Call from LD.- I tell LD I am sick.
Monday: I send Soldier boy a text telling him I have the flu---NOTHING back
LD: calls me 2x just to check to see how I am feeling.
Tuesday: LD calls me 1x & texts me a few times.
STILL NOTHING FROM SOLDIER BOY
Wednesday: LD calls me at 11:30, just to tell me he’s thinking about me.
8:30- Soldier boy sends me a text asking me how I’m doing.
So I went to a football game with my friends & put my phone on silent & left it in the car. It was liberating to not have checked it 50X to see if anyone of the boys had tried to contact me.
When I got back to my car & my phone there were 2 missed alerts: one from each soldier boy & lunch date. I decided to not text them both back immediately & just enjoy my time with my friends.
By the time I got home, I was feeling ill. Maybe it was too much sun, maybe it was too much tailgating, and whatever it was it was horrible.
No amount of sleeping it off could help though, I had full fledged H1N1 & it SUCKED.
It’s really hard the first time you get sick & you live alone. No one is there to get you medicine, no one is there to make you soup or get you juice from the store, and no one is there to watch your dog. My mom told me to pack up & come home, but I couldn’t make the almost 2 hour drive. I was too sick. It was weird being cut off from society for so long. I couldn’t stop being freezing cold & then pouring sweat not to mention that I couldn’t stay awake for more than 3 hours at a time. I could barely take care of my dog. Being sick alone totally sucks.
Here is the boy breakdown while I was sick.
Sunday: No call/text from soldier boy.
Call from LD.- I tell LD I am sick.
Monday: I send Soldier boy a text telling him I have the flu---NOTHING back
LD: calls me 2x just to check to see how I am feeling.
Tuesday: LD calls me 1x & texts me a few times.
STILL NOTHING FROM SOLDIER BOY
Wednesday: LD calls me at 11:30, just to tell me he’s thinking about me.
8:30- Soldier boy sends me a text asking me how I’m doing.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Big Night Out.
So I started getting ready for Halloween. I did my hair; I put on TONS of make-up, my stilettos, & put on the smallest outfit I have EVER left the house in. I felt good, I felt sexy, I really was giddy with excitement...
RIGHT before I left to pick up soldier boy, lunch date called. So I had to stall. He was just calling to see what I was doing & to tell me to “Be Good”. Yeah… so that kind of threw me off. I mean who tells someone to BE GOOD? Especially on Halloween with my lacking outfit, please! I had to throw this information as far out of my mind as possible & work on my night with Soldier Boy. So I politely got Lunch Date off the phone. I had other things to focus on. Like building up the confidence to walk outside looking like a whore. A cute whore, but a whore all the same.
Soldier Boy made me feel amazing once I got to his place. He reassured me with a huge smile & some comment about me being totally sexy in my outfit. OK, I was good now. Going out as a couple with Soldier Boy was amazing. I haven’t had this kind of fun & connection in a while. Soldier boy was totally into being a couple too. It just seemed to fit. So insecurities aside, I think this is something that could potentially be good. My friends liked him too. We were adorable; we posed for couple’s pictures in our couple’s outfits. Everyone got along flawlessly. He bought all the drinks. I laughed, we danced, and we entered a contest. It was a perfect night. There were a few strange slip ups, but I wasn’t going to let it get me down. I was flying sky high.
Lunch Date did text me a few times that evening. I texted him back once & then turned my phone off. I wanted to give soldier boy my attention.
The night ended & we ended up back at my place.
The morning came, my dog woke us up & he was ready to go by the time I had taken my dog outside. He had some stuff to do, he was leaving town for the day, going to a sports game or something with his friend. It was OK, I’m not too into the whole morning thing anyways & I wanted to do my own thing that day.
So I took him home, turned my phone on & talked to lunch date a while later when he called.
I am completely exhausted right now. I’m into Soldier Boy, but there are a few blaring flaws that I can’t help but notice. I’m trying to look away, but I can’t.
With that being said Soldier Boy’s issues are:
1. I really don’t think he has a car – he talks about his car, but I always drive or we take a cab or he’s on the bus. I have never seen said car in his parking lot at his apartment.
2. He’s weird talking about his son. Like it’s a secret. I don’t want to meet the kid, but shouldn’t you want to talk about him a little?
Lunch date is kind of blah, but there’s something about him that just sends sparks up & down my body. It’s not that he’s smoking hot either, because he’s totally not my type. Some people just have that air about them. I think it's his confidence in himself or maybe because he's older, established & successful. Whatever it is, I can't seem to get him totally off my mind.
I don’t see a need to make a decision at this very moment but it's amazing to feel this sexy all the time. Does it say anything about the 2 men if I can't choose one outright? Is it too soon to say? Indecision is queen!
RIGHT before I left to pick up soldier boy, lunch date called. So I had to stall. He was just calling to see what I was doing & to tell me to “Be Good”. Yeah… so that kind of threw me off. I mean who tells someone to BE GOOD? Especially on Halloween with my lacking outfit, please! I had to throw this information as far out of my mind as possible & work on my night with Soldier Boy. So I politely got Lunch Date off the phone. I had other things to focus on. Like building up the confidence to walk outside looking like a whore. A cute whore, but a whore all the same.
Soldier Boy made me feel amazing once I got to his place. He reassured me with a huge smile & some comment about me being totally sexy in my outfit. OK, I was good now. Going out as a couple with Soldier Boy was amazing. I haven’t had this kind of fun & connection in a while. Soldier boy was totally into being a couple too. It just seemed to fit. So insecurities aside, I think this is something that could potentially be good. My friends liked him too. We were adorable; we posed for couple’s pictures in our couple’s outfits. Everyone got along flawlessly. He bought all the drinks. I laughed, we danced, and we entered a contest. It was a perfect night. There were a few strange slip ups, but I wasn’t going to let it get me down. I was flying sky high.
Lunch Date did text me a few times that evening. I texted him back once & then turned my phone off. I wanted to give soldier boy my attention.
The night ended & we ended up back at my place.
The morning came, my dog woke us up & he was ready to go by the time I had taken my dog outside. He had some stuff to do, he was leaving town for the day, going to a sports game or something with his friend. It was OK, I’m not too into the whole morning thing anyways & I wanted to do my own thing that day.
So I took him home, turned my phone on & talked to lunch date a while later when he called.
I am completely exhausted right now. I’m into Soldier Boy, but there are a few blaring flaws that I can’t help but notice. I’m trying to look away, but I can’t.
With that being said Soldier Boy’s issues are:
1. I really don’t think he has a car – he talks about his car, but I always drive or we take a cab or he’s on the bus. I have never seen said car in his parking lot at his apartment.
2. He’s weird talking about his son. Like it’s a secret. I don’t want to meet the kid, but shouldn’t you want to talk about him a little?
Lunch date is kind of blah, but there’s something about him that just sends sparks up & down my body. It’s not that he’s smoking hot either, because he’s totally not my type. Some people just have that air about them. I think it's his confidence in himself or maybe because he's older, established & successful. Whatever it is, I can't seem to get him totally off my mind.
I don’t see a need to make a decision at this very moment but it's amazing to feel this sexy all the time. Does it say anything about the 2 men if I can't choose one outright? Is it too soon to say? Indecision is queen!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Excuses, Insecurities & Seeing if It's Worth It.
I’m starting to hear excuses from soldier boy. Are they real excuses? Is he really busy and needing to reschedule? Did he really forget to call, go to bed early, get super busy & not have time for me? Am I projecting the failure of my past relationships onto soldier boy?
I’m trying to push it aside. Trying to lie to myself for a few minutes until I feel better. I want my friends to lie to me for a few minutes too.
Soldier boy is texting me about our big outing as a couple, with my friends, showcasing our couple, dressed in coordinating outfits. But he’s texting me at work. I can’t talk at work. When I call him back, he’s in a loud place where I can barely hear him & he doesn’t call back when he said he was going to. In fact, he didn’t call back at all that nigh.
A few nights later, things are back to normal. Flirty text messages, attention… maybe he was just not feeling well?
All of a sudden my phone rings. It’s lunch date. He’s asking me out on a real date-this Friday. I said yes, and then immediately regretted it.
I started calling everyone I knew who might be up & would be down for hearing me freak out.
Friend 1: Go for it. Soldier boy isn’t your boyfriend, and you’re not his girlfriend. It’s not a big deal…
But to me it kind of is, I mean soldier boy is going to be a BEE KEEPER & I am going to be a BEE. I want to give him this weekend to just focus on him.
Friend 2: We hash out that I need to blow off Lunch Date and focus on Soldier Boy.
Friend 3: Shoots me a text & says the same thing & to blame it on her still being in town. Since she’s in town now…
So I call back lunch date, and his phone is off so I have to leave a voice mail. Oh well, at least he knows. I really want to give Soldier boy a super shot and I know if I were hanging out with Lunch Date on Friday & Soldier Boy on Saturday I would be stressing out all week.
S to keep my stress levels down, I’m going to focus on Soldier Boy. I just hope he’s worth it.
I’m trying to push it aside. Trying to lie to myself for a few minutes until I feel better. I want my friends to lie to me for a few minutes too.
Soldier boy is texting me about our big outing as a couple, with my friends, showcasing our couple, dressed in coordinating outfits. But he’s texting me at work. I can’t talk at work. When I call him back, he’s in a loud place where I can barely hear him & he doesn’t call back when he said he was going to. In fact, he didn’t call back at all that nigh.
A few nights later, things are back to normal. Flirty text messages, attention… maybe he was just not feeling well?
All of a sudden my phone rings. It’s lunch date. He’s asking me out on a real date-this Friday. I said yes, and then immediately regretted it.
I started calling everyone I knew who might be up & would be down for hearing me freak out.
Friend 1: Go for it. Soldier boy isn’t your boyfriend, and you’re not his girlfriend. It’s not a big deal…
But to me it kind of is, I mean soldier boy is going to be a BEE KEEPER & I am going to be a BEE. I want to give him this weekend to just focus on him.
Friend 2: We hash out that I need to blow off Lunch Date and focus on Soldier Boy.
Friend 3: Shoots me a text & says the same thing & to blame it on her still being in town. Since she’s in town now…
So I call back lunch date, and his phone is off so I have to leave a voice mail. Oh well, at least he knows. I really want to give Soldier boy a super shot and I know if I were hanging out with Lunch Date on Friday & Soldier Boy on Saturday I would be stressing out all week.
S to keep my stress levels down, I’m going to focus on Soldier Boy. I just hope he’s worth it.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Blips in attention & shiny new prospects
Why is it good things come in pairs? Why is it also that I must have 100% attention or I tend to get all silly. I know I do it to myself. Things seemingly are going fantastically and then there’s a blip. No texts on contact on Saturday & at 8pm on Sunday I finally text him. Like what are you doing? You are providing just enough time for someone else to slip in there & give me attention. That’s just what happened too, someone else grabbed my attention & he was shiny!
This someone shiny has been pursuing me for like over a year now. We know each other professionally, indirectly. It’s just been laughs & flirts here & there. Just casual, nothing serious, but he certainly has my attention. Plus add in the fact that soldier boy is making me feel a bit… underappreciated…
Well this new guy called me THREE times this weekend. THREE. Now he wants to go out to lunch. I thought about it for a long time. He’s the type of guy who doesn’t take no for an answer. What else could I say but yes. we shall now refer to him as lunch date.
So now the guilt is starting to sink in, but it’s JUST lunch. Who's to say soldier boy isn't out there doing the same thing, or worse?
Why do all good things come in pairs? Why can’t I just find one guy who completely blows my mind & keeps my attention?
This someone shiny has been pursuing me for like over a year now. We know each other professionally, indirectly. It’s just been laughs & flirts here & there. Just casual, nothing serious, but he certainly has my attention. Plus add in the fact that soldier boy is making me feel a bit… underappreciated…
Well this new guy called me THREE times this weekend. THREE. Now he wants to go out to lunch. I thought about it for a long time. He’s the type of guy who doesn’t take no for an answer. What else could I say but yes. we shall now refer to him as lunch date.
So now the guilt is starting to sink in, but it’s JUST lunch. Who's to say soldier boy isn't out there doing the same thing, or worse?
Why do all good things come in pairs? Why can’t I just find one guy who completely blows my mind & keeps my attention?
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Things are looking up...right?
He cancelled our hang out date #3 because he wasn’t feeling well. But he rescheduled a few days later. I went over to his place & took my dog. I thought it was amazing how well he seemed to get along with my sweet little dog. It was kind of awesome. We ate pizza for dinner & attempted to watch a movie. I ate bacon for this guy. It was a great evening.
Things with soldier boy were going exactly how I figured they should. Things were going in order. We had some deeper talks about our past, and I found out he has a child. He doesn’t really like to talk about his kid, but I guess it’s really early for that kind of thing, right? I even disclosed things about my past that I had not told other people. I guess I was afraid to show people that I was (am?) damaged goods. But really, in all honestly my troubled past didn't phase him.
Yes things were going in order. Things were feeling...right with this guy...
He was going to start to get busier with school finals coming up soon, and I wasn’t looking to forward to that… but I could deal. PLUS Halloween was only 2 weeks away. I mean we were going out with my friends as a couple. How could things not be looking up?
It's a big step to introduce your friends to someone you are dating. It's a biggest step for your relationship. You are declaring to this other person that they are worthy of becoming a REAL part of your life. Not just someone you casually date, or someone you text to all day, a real part of your life.
Introductions to new people are always kind of hard on your friends too. They are instantly judging this person to see if they fit up to their expectations. Will soldier boy fit the bill? I mean did I mention we are going as a coordinated couple for a halloween party? There is a lot to think about, but for right this very second -- I'm not going to over think, I'm just going to feel happy.
Things with soldier boy were going exactly how I figured they should. Things were going in order. We had some deeper talks about our past, and I found out he has a child. He doesn’t really like to talk about his kid, but I guess it’s really early for that kind of thing, right? I even disclosed things about my past that I had not told other people. I guess I was afraid to show people that I was (am?) damaged goods. But really, in all honestly my troubled past didn't phase him.
Yes things were going in order. Things were feeling...right with this guy...
He was going to start to get busier with school finals coming up soon, and I wasn’t looking to forward to that… but I could deal. PLUS Halloween was only 2 weeks away. I mean we were going out with my friends as a couple. How could things not be looking up?
It's a big step to introduce your friends to someone you are dating. It's a biggest step for your relationship. You are declaring to this other person that they are worthy of becoming a REAL part of your life. Not just someone you casually date, or someone you text to all day, a real part of your life.
Introductions to new people are always kind of hard on your friends too. They are instantly judging this person to see if they fit up to their expectations. Will soldier boy fit the bill? I mean did I mention we are going as a coordinated couple for a halloween party? There is a lot to think about, but for right this very second -- I'm not going to over think, I'm just going to feel happy.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Soldier Boy
So as quickly as shortstop & I stopped talking, soldier boy waltzed into my life. He was cute, he was charming, and he was stylish. He definitely had my attention. Ok, he didn’t waltz into my life he found me online. He was a bit older than I was, used to be in the Army & got injured so now he’s going back to school.
On our first date, we met for coffee & I totally forgot it was a date because it just seemed so natural. It was a 2 hour coffee date & my face actually hurt from smiling. I didn’t go into the date thinking about going on a date. I find that’s when I get the most thrown off.
We just had a simple hug @ the end of the date & I wasn’t even expecting it. As soon as I got home he began texting me telling me how cute & sexy I was & how much he enjoyed our conversation. He secured our next date for a weeknight & I was flying high on a wave of emotions & attention.
He had been calling me, actual conversations… NOT just texting and we had just talked & talked & talked. We talked about Halloween & how I was going to go out as a Bee.
Previously I had purchased this costume to go out with Shortstop & his friends. I had never owned something so scandalous in my life, but hearing the girls in shortstop’s clan talk about slutty Halloween costumes forced me to step up my game.
Soldier boy talked to me about doing matching Halloween costumes. Matching. He wanted to be a bee keeper. How adorable is that? I mean it’s almost sickening right? I was in a relationship for 6 years & didn’t do anything matching, and after 6 days this guy wanted to be my keeper.
Interesting…
On our first date, we met for coffee & I totally forgot it was a date because it just seemed so natural. It was a 2 hour coffee date & my face actually hurt from smiling. I didn’t go into the date thinking about going on a date. I find that’s when I get the most thrown off.
We just had a simple hug @ the end of the date & I wasn’t even expecting it. As soon as I got home he began texting me telling me how cute & sexy I was & how much he enjoyed our conversation. He secured our next date for a weeknight & I was flying high on a wave of emotions & attention.
He had been calling me, actual conversations… NOT just texting and we had just talked & talked & talked. We talked about Halloween & how I was going to go out as a Bee.
Previously I had purchased this costume to go out with Shortstop & his friends. I had never owned something so scandalous in my life, but hearing the girls in shortstop’s clan talk about slutty Halloween costumes forced me to step up my game.
Soldier boy talked to me about doing matching Halloween costumes. Matching. He wanted to be a bee keeper. How adorable is that? I mean it’s almost sickening right? I was in a relationship for 6 years & didn’t do anything matching, and after 6 days this guy wanted to be my keeper.
Interesting…
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