Thursday, September 30, 2010


Things with LD have been a great & mighty whirl wind of emotions.

Things were going wonderfully. We were setting up our next date which was a week-day date. The flirty texts were rolling in. The fast phone calls to check on my day in between working were helping me swoon. The day was set & I was ready for more excitement with this man who was blowing my mind.

So our date day comes & I am super duper exited all day. I’m gabbing with my girlfriends about what to wear & what we are going to do. IDK what (if anything) we are doing. Are we chilling at his house? It’s not far enough along where I can get away with a sweatshirt & ponytail. Lol.

I tell these friends to thank the lord for their long term sig/o because they can pretty much just roll out of bed & amaze their lovers-I’m still working it!

I get a quick text from LD saying he has to do a few things having to do with some family drama, but that should be all cleared up before I got out of work. Sure, ok fine.

So I leave work go home & start getting ready. I’m curling my hair & get a call: no date.

LD got all sick & had to deal with his freak family drama. I hope he’s not getting my h1n1 & he’s just congested from the temperature change. I mean I was’t contagious when we hung out on Sunday, so it just must be the temp change. He sounded horrible when he called me on the way home.

I kind of copped an attitude when he told me we weren’t hanging out, even though I could hear in his voice that he was’t feeling well. I didn’t mean to & instantly regretted it. But I was totally bummed out. Being the guy he is, he totally called me out on it too. Totally called me out on it- in an: “I’m not taking your shit” kind of way. But I apologized when he called me on his way home. I think I am just going to do my best not to compare him to everyone else that’s ever lied to me & screwed me over. I’m going to go out on a teeny tiny limb here & trust him. He’s been nothing but wonderful, and attentive & honest with me. So I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt & not project my insecurities with others onto him. Doesn’t that sound like it came from a psychologist’s mouth & not mine?

I need my friends to get on TEAM LD. I need them to back me up & not throw me down into a huge pool of my insecurities. Help remind me when I get insane that he’s not a bad guy & he’s not the other people who have broken my heart! My gut is telling me he’s an amazing guy and my gut hasn’t said that in a long time. It’s my personal insecurities that are causing me to doubt something that he’s never done or said & that’s just not fair. So only positive vibes, sunshine & hopefully soon, good booty!

I hope I can use my TGIF line soon. (TGIF= this guy I’m FKing)

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