I slowly lead cat-boy into “The Rules According to KK”.

I slowly lead cat-boy into “The Rules According to KK”.

“The Rules” being:
1. Be a Creature like any other
2. Don’t talk to a man first
3. Always end a phone call first

So I decided that since I wasn’t that into Cat-boy and he was into me, I’d use the rules on him. I spent what little time I chose to talk to him showing how unique I was. Which was all totally true. I always made SURE to let him go, quickly, when HE decided to call ME on the phone. I would end the call with in 7 minutes MAX and “Have to go take a really important call”. He would text me endlessly and I would rarely reply. He would do things to get my attention. Creative things. Wonderful things. But I just pretended to be bored and it drove him crazy.

I found out things about Cat-boy. Things that were bright, shiny, red flags, but I kept him running along side of me. To be harsh, to be honest, I didn’t care. I thought he was fun, and I was interested in him, but I knew who I was, and who he was, weren’t the same person.

As a general rule, I never let someone pick me up at home. I don’t want anyone to know where I live, since I live alone. As another general rule, I never stay out too late. This LOOKS like I am ending the date first, but really, I just don’t like to leave my dog alone too long.

Cat-boy started to get a little agitated with how busy I was and told me he needed to take me out on a real date. I agreed.

This is NOT a test.

I’m watching your life spiral out of control. I’m watching you make horrible, terrible decisions. How many times can you watch someone you love make the same mistake over & over again?

How many times did they watch me make mistakes and keep their mouths shut?

I have taken them aside, and told them my fears. They keep showing me their metaphysical wounds. Yet, they choose to move forward in the wrong direction.

As their friend I can only speak my piece when spoken to, and listen to their same worries every other day in silence.

That’s what a good friend does right? Yes.
Is that what a good friend does? Yes.
Is that what you did for me for all of those years? Yes.

I want to remind you, that you can do better & you aren’t getting any younger.

I read somewhere that women like to date losers/jerks/assholes/abusive/worthless/drunk/druggies/broke/freaks/mean/nasty/unclean/stinky/mother-fuckers who cheat- because when it’s bad, it’s so bad. It’s journal bad, it’s crying all day & night bad, it’s not going to work bad, it’s silent nights and bad mornings bad.

But those few & fleeting points in between when he does something nice- are MORE amazing than ever. That actually great/smart/funny/hot women date this other guy because they like the abuse, though not always physical, because it makes the good times, SO MUCH MORE AMAZING.

I know I fell for it. I was with someone who treated me like absolute shit, but not all the time, not every day, sometimes it was just once a quarter for a week or two here or there, but it was there. But let me tell you, when it was GOOD, it was G-O-O-D!

Turn around & run sweetie. MOTHER FU CK ING RUN!!!!!!

You & he are going to be so much happier in 3 years, happier with someone else.

RUN. NOW. IMMEDIATELY.

This is not a test.

RiRi you are making me blush.

I can’t sing Rihanna songs in front of my boyfriend, in the car, or at the club ever again. Ri-Ri is getting a little dark, a little too into butt sex and a little too into the freaky for my taste.

Aside from S&M, I’ve downloaded & enjoyed multiple Rihanna songs. I put them into my Ipod- turn them up when they come on & replay them when they are over.

I do want my man to make me feel like the “Only Girl in the World”. I want him to text me “What’s My Name” after I leave. Please baby- “Shut Up & Drive”.

RiRi, I love you. I think you are amazing. I love your music & I will continue to buy your songs-because you freaking ROCK. Please stop whispering innuendos about butt sex in your songs.

I can’t sing your songs, feel all sexy & empowered & then whisper something about my back door. It makes me feel uncomfortable and I really don’t watching a child whisper those words in the mall while singing along in her favorite store. I also don’t want my man to hear me sing your words about back doors & start to get any ideas.

I can’t get on board with S&M. I can’t. Sure it’s a crazy song, and some people really like it, but I just can’t. I tried. I was in my car, it was 8:30 am and you came on the radio so I turned it up… But I felt weird driving to work singing about whips & chains. I felt even weirder know little girls are singing this and loving it, and having NO IDEA what it means.

& Have you seen the video? Yikes. I’m glad they stopped playing so many music videos on TV.

Rihanna, no one sings a dance hit like you do girl, but stop singing about butt sex & ball gags- I can’t stomach it.