I am so glad that when my life was dramatic, I didn't have the access to smart phones that ladies do today.
Here are some helpful hints to my girls who love drama, love booze & love to air it all out online.
1. Nothing good ever happens after 3am. If you are up after 3 am, go to sleep.
2. Put your damn phone down. No one really needs to know that you checked into your 3rd bar of the evening, and then you hit up taco bell.
3. Fight with the bouncer? Don't call him out online, you might not get into the club next time?
4. Got so drunk you thought you saw your man & that blonde girl sucking face? Don't slap with your left & tweet with your right.
5. When you break up with your boyfriend after 3am on face book (it's all time-stamped people) people know you got into a drunk brawl (again?). -also who knows what time you'll wake up the next day & who saw your shit go down the night before?
6. You look like a loser when the next day, you are magically back together.
7. Learn when to say no. Drunken one night stands don't look all that pretty the next morning & girl, neither do you!
8. Don't try that trick you read about in cosmo tonight, you're going to pull something.
9. Yes, I think your uncle really did need to see those 7 pics of you & your girl making pursed lips in the bathroom. Take another.
10. Booze bloat doesn't make your skin glow.
11. If you are that drunk, someone might be taking your picture to laugh at with all of their friends.
Ladies, let's get real. I'm really thankful that I didn't have the same kind of access people do these days to the smart phones. I've had my evenings of drunken bad choices. But there has to come a time, where you look at your life & start drinking less & living more.
Showing posts with label breaking up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breaking up. Show all posts
Monday, June 13, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Watching from the outside.
A pang of guilt, a pang of horror & a realization of if I had known, it wouldn’t have made it any better.
Being able to watch a breakup from the outside is hard when you know both parties. It’s even harder when you understand their reasons for parting ways, but still liked them better together. But it’s not your relationship, so you can rally for them to be together but ultimately you have to watch from the sidelines.
It was her idea. She couldn’t handle the distance. She was the breaker-upper. She’s having the hard time; he’s already seeing someone else in an intimate fashion. He wasn’t happy with the break up, but when he got back into town, he took her out to a really nice dinner. This sends mixed signals.
I am a firm believer when there is a break up, there should be a TRUE break. You shouldn’t hang out here & there or still call or text each other. The reason being is ultimately someone can’t handle it as well as the other can.
She couldn’t handle it. She drank & drank & drank & tried to pretend that it didn’t hurt seeing him. Maybe to people from the outside she looked like she was having fun. I could tell she wasn’t.
Then a bomb went off. I got word that he was seeing someone else. How am I supposed to react to something like that? Oh hi lady, things are good, I’m sure you’ll see him later, just to hang out, like you used to….
Oh wait… no you won’t….because he’s with a new girl.
So I feel in the middle. He was my friend first, but because of their dating, she became my good girl friend. He’s moved on, and she’s still stuck in the glimmers of hope of the past.
It rips my soul apart and makes me almost angry. I remember my cheating ex, I know people knew that my ex was moving on with someone for months while we were together & then in my face-in my house-when we were broken up, but no one would tell me to my face.
Now I sit here with this little bit of information & my scars feel fresh again. No one told me, I found out myself. After my new found secret I sat down to a beautifully prepared meal of self-loathing, denial, and anger and washed it down with a huge glass of pity party.
But I can’t be the one to tell her. I’m just going to let her move on her own way. I can’t do it to her & I really can’t do it to him.
Right now I’m torn, but I’m going to keep my perfect nose out of it.
Being able to watch a breakup from the outside is hard when you know both parties. It’s even harder when you understand their reasons for parting ways, but still liked them better together. But it’s not your relationship, so you can rally for them to be together but ultimately you have to watch from the sidelines.
It was her idea. She couldn’t handle the distance. She was the breaker-upper. She’s having the hard time; he’s already seeing someone else in an intimate fashion. He wasn’t happy with the break up, but when he got back into town, he took her out to a really nice dinner. This sends mixed signals.
I am a firm believer when there is a break up, there should be a TRUE break. You shouldn’t hang out here & there or still call or text each other. The reason being is ultimately someone can’t handle it as well as the other can.
She couldn’t handle it. She drank & drank & drank & tried to pretend that it didn’t hurt seeing him. Maybe to people from the outside she looked like she was having fun. I could tell she wasn’t.
Then a bomb went off. I got word that he was seeing someone else. How am I supposed to react to something like that? Oh hi lady, things are good, I’m sure you’ll see him later, just to hang out, like you used to….
Oh wait… no you won’t….because he’s with a new girl.
So I feel in the middle. He was my friend first, but because of their dating, she became my good girl friend. He’s moved on, and she’s still stuck in the glimmers of hope of the past.
It rips my soul apart and makes me almost angry. I remember my cheating ex, I know people knew that my ex was moving on with someone for months while we were together & then in my face-in my house-when we were broken up, but no one would tell me to my face.
Now I sit here with this little bit of information & my scars feel fresh again. No one told me, I found out myself. After my new found secret I sat down to a beautifully prepared meal of self-loathing, denial, and anger and washed it down with a huge glass of pity party.
But I can’t be the one to tell her. I’m just going to let her move on her own way. I can’t do it to her & I really can’t do it to him.
Right now I’m torn, but I’m going to keep my perfect nose out of it.
Friday, April 29, 2011
#15
#15
Oh little apartment, all 625 sq ft of you, of thee I sing. A gold key opens your door & helped me turn my life around.
I came into you when my life was seemed to be in shambles. I didn’t know quite who I was anymore. I wasn’t sure of anything-but you were all I had.
I hadn’t ever been alone once in my life and I felt like something was missing. I found my little best friend from 2 grainy pictures online. We were both looking for someone to love & a fresh start. Ever since that day, I wake up every single morning to love.
A gift from an angel helped my life get on track. I don’t know how I would have managed those first few months with out it. Thank you.
I turned this place into my own. I had never been able to really create my own space before, where only what I liked mattered. I created my home.
I can’t say living along was always easy. There were a few times when I had to remind myself that I was the only one paying all of the bills. A few bad decisions were made. There were nights when I was scared, unsure, and couldn’t stop crying. But I had my little best friend and the most amazing support group ever which helped me forge ahead.
#15 became my cocoon. I first opened the door as one being, and I grew inside its walls & in a few days I am going to emerge from this place a totally different, radiant person.
I found my self. I found understanding. I found love. I found my way. I found peace. I found strength.
Thank you #15 for everything then, now & for the rest of my life.
Oh little apartment, all 625 sq ft of you, of thee I sing. A gold key opens your door & helped me turn my life around.
I came into you when my life was seemed to be in shambles. I didn’t know quite who I was anymore. I wasn’t sure of anything-but you were all I had.
I hadn’t ever been alone once in my life and I felt like something was missing. I found my little best friend from 2 grainy pictures online. We were both looking for someone to love & a fresh start. Ever since that day, I wake up every single morning to love.
A gift from an angel helped my life get on track. I don’t know how I would have managed those first few months with out it. Thank you.
I turned this place into my own. I had never been able to really create my own space before, where only what I liked mattered. I created my home.
I can’t say living along was always easy. There were a few times when I had to remind myself that I was the only one paying all of the bills. A few bad decisions were made. There were nights when I was scared, unsure, and couldn’t stop crying. But I had my little best friend and the most amazing support group ever which helped me forge ahead.
#15 became my cocoon. I first opened the door as one being, and I grew inside its walls & in a few days I am going to emerge from this place a totally different, radiant person.
I found my self. I found understanding. I found love. I found my way. I found peace. I found strength.
Thank you #15 for everything then, now & for the rest of my life.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The List.
Everyone who is in a relationship has a list.
A list of people who they would totally date if they weren't dating this current person they are with. It's not that they don't LOVE the person they are with, they do, or they wouldn't be dating them... they just have a back up list of potential someone's who would get a call if they ever became single.
Note: This call will be made the second their car disappears out of the driveway. No one waits to turn the corner; they’ve been dialing since they grabbed their keys.
Please also note: In general, the people who are ON this list know. They have discussed it one way or another.
When I became single my list was the first glorious thing to pop into my mind. But I took a different approach; I kept my list safely tucked into my pocket. I decided to only throw out a few hints to people who have told me (*some time & time again) how high up I have been on their lists.
Let’s just say out of this bunch I ended up with a few duds.
Some of these people were actually in relationships now.
Some of these people were really BAD kissers.
Some of these people weren’t as attractive now that I was single.
Some of these people were all wrong, and not in a good way.
Some of these people were jerks.
Some of these people were revenge.
Might I suggest if you ever become single, or currently happen to be: Tuck your list into your pocket. Take a chance on that person who has been waiting to grab their shot at your for years. Hell, it might even be a good time!
A list of people who they would totally date if they weren't dating this current person they are with. It's not that they don't LOVE the person they are with, they do, or they wouldn't be dating them... they just have a back up list of potential someone's who would get a call if they ever became single.
Note: This call will be made the second their car disappears out of the driveway. No one waits to turn the corner; they’ve been dialing since they grabbed their keys.
Please also note: In general, the people who are ON this list know. They have discussed it one way or another.
When I became single my list was the first glorious thing to pop into my mind. But I took a different approach; I kept my list safely tucked into my pocket. I decided to only throw out a few hints to people who have told me (*some time & time again) how high up I have been on their lists.
Let’s just say out of this bunch I ended up with a few duds.
Some of these people were actually in relationships now.
Some of these people were really BAD kissers.
Some of these people weren’t as attractive now that I was single.
Some of these people were all wrong, and not in a good way.
Some of these people were jerks.
Some of these people were revenge.
Might I suggest if you ever become single, or currently happen to be: Tuck your list into your pocket. Take a chance on that person who has been waiting to grab their shot at your for years. Hell, it might even be a good time!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Reacting to your exes happiness
I have come to the realization from personal events & today’s headlines that maybe people/friends/onlookers/family will NEVER get past your one big break up.
I mean if Jessica Simpson-who is totally famous- is expected to react to her ex getting engaged- 5 plus years after they broke up, then I guess I should just always expect to get a nice face punch every time one of my friends remembers the good old days. Remember that one time, 6 years ago when it was fun? Sure I do, gee-wiz that I was a great time.
It’s like I too can’t escape it, years later, my big break up still haunts me. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, dinner with friends, sporting event, bonfire-somehow it all seems to roll back to that one big break up. Even people, who I really don’t know at all, know about my break up. These people being friends of friends, people I know in passing. Like my break up was something that my friends decided to talk about when I wasn’t around to someone I really didn’t know.
I hope there was some kind of learning experience involved where I came out the princess. I always want to come out the princess.
I hope people do learn from my break up & I do try to teach my friends lessons from other friend’s misfortunate relationships. But I don’t want to talk about it over & over & over again. I blocked them on face book for a reason y’all!
Like Jessica Simpson, I wasn’t the first to move on. Jessica & I have both had a few failed relationships while our exes seem to be living the dream right in front of our faces. Though my ex is clearly dating down (I wish I could show you a pic of this pig), it still doesn’t help to know that my ex is happy without me. I mean come on- who’s happy without this? I’d like to think my ex is miserable, but that’s just me.
But to ask Jessica to react to her ex getting engaged, well I just think that’s a low blow. I think Jessica is over Nick and doesn’t care if he gets married or jumps off a cliff. I think what the hard thing is, to know he moved on first & more successfully. That’s the gut wrenching detail!
So if you cornered me and asked me how I felt that the person I used to love got engaged after we didn’t work out, I would tell you I didn’t care. Thanks for bringing it up & potentially ruining my day. Then I would go home, reflect on it a bit & move on. Sure it would throw me off for a few minutes, but come on- it’s been years now.
So let the girl be. She doesn’t care & doesn’t need YOU to remind her every time she leaves the house! That goes double for me. Leave me alone & stop bringing up my past already. I’m ready to name drop when you are the next time you are ready!! Remember that one time in college that YOU did that one thing with that one guy.... YUP... I do too!!!
But I guess it could be worse, I could be Jennifer Anniston.... that poor girl is never going to get a break.
I mean if Jessica Simpson-who is totally famous- is expected to react to her ex getting engaged- 5 plus years after they broke up, then I guess I should just always expect to get a nice face punch every time one of my friends remembers the good old days. Remember that one time, 6 years ago when it was fun? Sure I do, gee-wiz that I was a great time.
It’s like I too can’t escape it, years later, my big break up still haunts me. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, dinner with friends, sporting event, bonfire-somehow it all seems to roll back to that one big break up. Even people, who I really don’t know at all, know about my break up. These people being friends of friends, people I know in passing. Like my break up was something that my friends decided to talk about when I wasn’t around to someone I really didn’t know.
I hope there was some kind of learning experience involved where I came out the princess. I always want to come out the princess.
I hope people do learn from my break up & I do try to teach my friends lessons from other friend’s misfortunate relationships. But I don’t want to talk about it over & over & over again. I blocked them on face book for a reason y’all!
Like Jessica Simpson, I wasn’t the first to move on. Jessica & I have both had a few failed relationships while our exes seem to be living the dream right in front of our faces. Though my ex is clearly dating down (I wish I could show you a pic of this pig), it still doesn’t help to know that my ex is happy without me. I mean come on- who’s happy without this? I’d like to think my ex is miserable, but that’s just me.
But to ask Jessica to react to her ex getting engaged, well I just think that’s a low blow. I think Jessica is over Nick and doesn’t care if he gets married or jumps off a cliff. I think what the hard thing is, to know he moved on first & more successfully. That’s the gut wrenching detail!
So if you cornered me and asked me how I felt that the person I used to love got engaged after we didn’t work out, I would tell you I didn’t care. Thanks for bringing it up & potentially ruining my day. Then I would go home, reflect on it a bit & move on. Sure it would throw me off for a few minutes, but come on- it’s been years now.
So let the girl be. She doesn’t care & doesn’t need YOU to remind her every time she leaves the house! That goes double for me. Leave me alone & stop bringing up my past already. I’m ready to name drop when you are the next time you are ready!! Remember that one time in college that YOU did that one thing with that one guy.... YUP... I do too!!!
But I guess it could be worse, I could be Jennifer Anniston.... that poor girl is never going to get a break.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
An Open Letter To My Friends
When I went through my major break of of 2009, I sent an open letter to each & every one of my friends. I wanted to know what I was feeling at that time. Things DID NOT work out how I had seen them over a year ago. As you know I am NOT friends with X. I did NOT end up living there until August. I did NOT keep my puppy, Oliver. Here is me, at my most scared, breaking the news to everyone I know. I have edited it down some, but reading it again, I can almost feel what I was going through at that very moment.
Hello,
I have decided an email would be the best way for this news to travel. This is still a very private matter, so please don’t start broadcasting my news. I guess I am going to get this out there. X and I have decided to break up. We have been talking about it for months now, and it’s just the right thing to do for everyone. There are no harsh thoughts or feelings, I feel lifted about the whole subject.
Unfortunately, we still have our lease until August. I am going to do my best to be peaceful and respectful to X as long as I am met with the same. As we have found out in the past it’s hard to break up with someone when you live with them. There are a lot of blurry lines involved, and a lot of confusing situations. Please be respectful of my decisions and my actions as I try to sort this out.
We also booked our trip to Vegas and still plan on attending in March. I do want to attempt to keep a friendship with X, since pretty much that is all we have been since moving into our apartment in Ann Arbor.
I do not wish to hear anything hateful or nasty regarding X, or our relationship. Keep your comments to yourself, as I have about your significant others and your relationships.
This is the one thing I want you to take a face value and not over analyze. I actually do not wish to hear any comments about this at this time at all.
X has very graciously decided to hand over Oliver to me outright. X will still be seeing him, but he will be living exclusively with me. That was my only huge kicker in this situation, and a large reason I stayed in a decaying relationship for way too long. I honestly could not have lived without my puppy!
In August Oliver and I will be moving into our own apartment. Which I have never done before, and I am really looking forward to it. I have always had to mash my taste with someone else’s and am looking forward to an all teal and brown apartment if that’s what I choose.
I will need your help in the next few months, but really don’t want to drag out things in LONG conversations that I just can’t have in my apartment where X can hear everything I say. I would hope X would also not have those conversations in front of me.
Honestly, I don’t think a lot is going to change with X and me, since we have been pretty much friendly only for a while now.
All of this is still a very sensitive subject and I don’t know how the next 6 months are going to pan out for me. Just please be there for me when I need you and know that I don’t want to get into ANY of this right now. I don’t have the strength.
I am in positive spirits and am feeling great otherwise. I am looking forward to the opportunity to just be ME for a while. Wish me luck.
All my love,
KK
Hello,
I have decided an email would be the best way for this news to travel. This is still a very private matter, so please don’t start broadcasting my news. I guess I am going to get this out there. X and I have decided to break up. We have been talking about it for months now, and it’s just the right thing to do for everyone. There are no harsh thoughts or feelings, I feel lifted about the whole subject.
Unfortunately, we still have our lease until August. I am going to do my best to be peaceful and respectful to X as long as I am met with the same. As we have found out in the past it’s hard to break up with someone when you live with them. There are a lot of blurry lines involved, and a lot of confusing situations. Please be respectful of my decisions and my actions as I try to sort this out.
We also booked our trip to Vegas and still plan on attending in March. I do want to attempt to keep a friendship with X, since pretty much that is all we have been since moving into our apartment in Ann Arbor.
I do not wish to hear anything hateful or nasty regarding X, or our relationship. Keep your comments to yourself, as I have about your significant others and your relationships.
This is the one thing I want you to take a face value and not over analyze. I actually do not wish to hear any comments about this at this time at all.
X has very graciously decided to hand over Oliver to me outright. X will still be seeing him, but he will be living exclusively with me. That was my only huge kicker in this situation, and a large reason I stayed in a decaying relationship for way too long. I honestly could not have lived without my puppy!
In August Oliver and I will be moving into our own apartment. Which I have never done before, and I am really looking forward to it. I have always had to mash my taste with someone else’s and am looking forward to an all teal and brown apartment if that’s what I choose.
I will need your help in the next few months, but really don’t want to drag out things in LONG conversations that I just can’t have in my apartment where X can hear everything I say. I would hope X would also not have those conversations in front of me.
Honestly, I don’t think a lot is going to change with X and me, since we have been pretty much friendly only for a while now.
All of this is still a very sensitive subject and I don’t know how the next 6 months are going to pan out for me. Just please be there for me when I need you and know that I don’t want to get into ANY of this right now. I don’t have the strength.
I am in positive spirits and am feeling great otherwise. I am looking forward to the opportunity to just be ME for a while. Wish me luck.
All my love,
KK
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